JOD

To any student that may visit my blog these days, MERRY CHRISTMAS and A HAPPY NEW YEAR! And ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY! Relax and forget about school for a while. See ya in 2011!

Here are some Christmas jokes for you to enter the atmosphere of Christmas:

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A: Because it's too far to walk.

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!

WOD TALKATIVE

TALKATIVE = liking to talk a lot

QOD Mahatma Gandhi

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

(Mahatma Gandhi)

JOD What four animals does a woman like to have in her house?

What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.


In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

WOD LOUNGE LIZARD

LOUNGE = a comfortable room in a house where people sit and relax

DEPARTURE LOUNGE  = a large room in an airport where you sit and wait before going onto a plane

LOUNGE BAR = a room in a pub that is more comfortable and usually more expensive than the public bar




LOUNGE LIZARD = a man who spends a lot of time in expensive bars and hotels, and likes being with rich people

WOD STAMPEDE

STAMPEDE = if a group of animals or people stampede, they all start to run in a very fast uncontrolled way because they are frightened or excited

e.g.  In Cambodia, at least 355 people were killed and four

hundred and ten others wounded in a stampede during busy festival in the capital Phnom Penh. The incident occured when rumour spread among the travelers that the bridge was unstable.

The jokes of the day

There were three men on a hill with their watches.
The first man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.
The second man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.
The third man threw his watch down the hill, walked all the way to the bottom, and caught it.
The other two men were puzzled and asked the third man how he did it.
The third man said, "Easy. My watch is 5 minutes slow!"





A cat died and went to heaven. When he arrived at the gate, an angel asked:
"Welcome to heaven. What can I get for you to make you happy today?"
The cat replied:
"Oh, I sure would love a nice, soft pillow!" And so, the angel gave him the pillow and called for the next person in line.
The next day, some mice were in line at the gate. The angel asked them the same question.
The mice replied:
"Ooh! Can we have some skateboards?!" And the angel gave them the skate boards.
A few hours later, God was strolling through his kingdom and came across the cat on his pillow.
"Good cat! How do you like heaven and your pillow?"
The cat smiled and replied:
"This place is great! The streets are gold, this is the softest pillow in the world! Thank you, God!"
God smiled and said:
"So you're really liking it?"
The cat said:
"Oh, I love it! And by the way, thanks for the meals on wheels you sent by earlier!