JOD

To any student that may visit my blog these days, MERRY CHRISTMAS and A HAPPY NEW YEAR! And ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY! Relax and forget about school for a while. See ya in 2011!

Here are some Christmas jokes for you to enter the atmosphere of Christmas:

Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.

Q: Why was Santa's little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.

Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.

Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter?
A: Because it's too far to walk.

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: Fleece Navidad!

WOD TALKATIVE

TALKATIVE = liking to talk a lot

QOD Mahatma Gandhi

You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.

(Mahatma Gandhi)

JOD What four animals does a woman like to have in her house?

What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.


In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbors listen.

WOD LOUNGE LIZARD

LOUNGE = a comfortable room in a house where people sit and relax

DEPARTURE LOUNGE  = a large room in an airport where you sit and wait before going onto a plane

LOUNGE BAR = a room in a pub that is more comfortable and usually more expensive than the public bar




LOUNGE LIZARD = a man who spends a lot of time in expensive bars and hotels, and likes being with rich people

WOD STAMPEDE

STAMPEDE = if a group of animals or people stampede, they all start to run in a very fast uncontrolled way because they are frightened or excited

e.g.  In Cambodia, at least 355 people were killed and four

hundred and ten others wounded in a stampede during busy festival in the capital Phnom Penh. The incident occured when rumour spread among the travelers that the bridge was unstable.

The jokes of the day

There were three men on a hill with their watches.
The first man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.
The second man threw his watch down the hill and it broke.
The third man threw his watch down the hill, walked all the way to the bottom, and caught it.
The other two men were puzzled and asked the third man how he did it.
The third man said, "Easy. My watch is 5 minutes slow!"





A cat died and went to heaven. When he arrived at the gate, an angel asked:
"Welcome to heaven. What can I get for you to make you happy today?"
The cat replied:
"Oh, I sure would love a nice, soft pillow!" And so, the angel gave him the pillow and called for the next person in line.
The next day, some mice were in line at the gate. The angel asked them the same question.
The mice replied:
"Ooh! Can we have some skateboards?!" And the angel gave them the skate boards.
A few hours later, God was strolling through his kingdom and came across the cat on his pillow.
"Good cat! How do you like heaven and your pillow?"
The cat smiled and replied:
"This place is great! The streets are gold, this is the softest pillow in the world! Thank you, God!"
God smiled and said:
"So you're really liking it?"
The cat said:
"Oh, I love it! And by the way, thanks for the meals on wheels you sent by earlier!  

MIND-BOGGLING, MIND-NUMBING, MIND-BLOWING

MIND-BOGGLING (informal)= very difficult to imagine or to understand; extremely surprising 

e.g. a problem of mind-boggling complexity

e.g. It's mind-boggling to me that this is allowed to happen. 

BOGGLE =  to be slow to do or accept sth because you are surprised or shocked by it 

e.g. Even I boggle at the idea of spending so much money. 

( informal ) if sth boggles the mind or the mind boggles at it, it is so unusual that people find it hard to imagine or accept 

e.g. The vastness of space really boggles the mind.

e.g. ‘He says he's married to his cats!’ ‘The mind boggles!’

MIND-NUMBING =  very boring

e.g.  The lecture was mind-numbingly tedious

MIND-BLOWING = very exciting, impressive or surprising

e.g. watching your baby being born is a mind-blowing experience 

e.g. the mind-blowing beauty of Africa

AGGRIEVED, BULLY, IMBIBE, MOROSE

AGGRIEVED = feeling angry and unhappy because you think you have been treated in an unfair way

e.g. An aggrieved student will meet with the campus Dean to  talk about the recent incident which involved three bullies. 



BULLY = someone who frightens or hurts someone who is smaller or weaker than they are

e.g. Jeremy is a bully who always kicks the other children and steals their sandwiches 






IMBIBE = to drink (often humorously). to absorb (ideas, feelings, etc) 


e.g. Danny imbibed too much whisky last night

MOROSE = feeling unhappy, in a bad mood, and not wanting to talk to anyone

e.g. Charles Dickens character, Scrooge, is a very morose sort of person

WOD Cardinal, muse, figment

CARDINAL = of prime importance


e.g. The cardinal rule in working with bears is never forget they are wild animals.




FIGMENT = invention of the mind


e.g. Micky Mouse was a profitable figment of Walt Disney's imagination




MUSE (ON/OVER/ABOUT) = to consider thoughtfully; ponder; reflect


e.g. I sat there in silence, musing on the events of the day




MUSHY = 1. soft and thick, like mush


e.g. Cook until the fruit is soft, but not mushy




MUSHY= 2. too emotional in a way that is embarassing


e.g. I think it's just a mushy romantic novel

The jokes of the day UGLY BABIES

A: I think I was very ugly when I was a baby
B: Why do you think that?
A: Well, when I was in my pram my mother didn't push it, she always pulled it behind her!

A PRAM

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!” The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you.”

The quote of the day EDMUND YASHINSKI

Edmund Yashinski was a Polish Jew who survived the Holocaust only to die, ironically, in a prison in communist Poland after the defeat of the Nazis. He left an incredible message for posterity:

Fear not your enemies for they can only kill you

Fear not your friends for they can only betray you

Fear only the indifferent who permit the killers and

Betrayers to walk safely on earth 

Personally, I think  the message is quite clear: INDIFFERENCE BRINGS THE DEATH OUR SOULS

The words of the day

CUSHION = pernuţă

CUSHY = very easy and pleasant; needing little or no effort

e.g. Daddy found Mark a cushy job in an office

DUVET = plapuma

e.g.He snuggled down under the warm duvet

a duvet day = a day when you stay at home instead of going to work because you feel tired and want to rest but are not ill 

e.g. Some firms allow their staff two duvet days a year.

e.g. I decided to have a duvet day.

BUNK BEDS = two small bed that are joined together with one above the other

The jokes of the day

A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him" So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy".


"Does your dog bite?"
"No."
(The man tries to touch dog. The dog bites him)
"Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
"This is not my dog."

The words of the day

    RUMINATE =

1. 1

   (formal)  to think about something very carefully
   
   e.g. How often do you ruminate about certain events in your life?
   
   
2. 2

   (biology)  if an animal ruminates, it brings food back from its stomach into its mouth and chews it a second time
   
   e.g. Cows ruminate for hours
   
   
   
   QUAY =  a hard surface next to a sea or river where boats can stop
   
   
   It is pronounced /ki:/
   
   
   
   
   BUFFET = a meal at which all the food is put on the table and people go and choose what they want
   
   
   It is pronounced /'buffei/
   
   buffet car = the part of the train where you can buy drinks, sandwiches, etc  
   
   
   
   CUMBERSOME =  not simple, difficult or annoying to use 
   
   e.g. Applying for a teaching position in New Zeeland can be an extremely cumbersome job
   

The words of the day

NET =  to earn a particular amount of money after taxes or other costs have been removed e.g. The company netted over £5 million last year.
e.g. If you see that you can't afford to stay in Madrid, when you get your first check, you must subtract  the cost of utilities and food from what you net and voila, you'll have the answer.
A CLOSE SHAVE =  a situation in which you only just avoid doing something dangerous or unpleasant e.g. Phew, that was a close shave! He almost saw me MOONLIGHT =  to have a second job in addition to your main job that you do not tell the tax authorities about e.g. My part-time job as a shop assistant didn't pay much so I had to moonlight to pay for my studies.  TO WORK/PAY UNDER THE TABLE = A MUNCI/PLATI LA NEGRU e.g. = I've got another job offer but they pay under the table and I am afraid not to be caught moonlighting TEARAWAY = a young person who does dangerous, silly, or illegal things that often get them into trouble e.g. two tearaway brothers are suspected to have attacked and tortured a young man

The quote of the day

" If freedom means anything at all, it means the right to tell people what they do not want to hear " (George Orwell)

George Orwell is one of the most successful British writers of the 20th century. Among others, he wrote two incredible books: "Animal Farm" and "1984 " in which he deals with social injustice. 

The jokes of the day

Marriage is a mutual relationship if both parties know when to be mute

My wife has a split personality, and I hate both of them


The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday. 


Girl: You would be a good dancer except for two things.
Boy: What are the two things?
Girl: Your feet.

Surprising English

English is a vast  language in terms of vocabulary.  Yet, there are many basic and familiar words that can used in very surprising ways.I hope the few examples below make you find English even more fascinating than before. Enjoy it!


DOG (verb) = to cause trouble for someone over a long period of time

e.g. He has been dogged by persistent back problems.

e.g. Facebook has been hit with a string of controversies over privacy. In May, after a series of complaints from some users and privacy advocates, the company made wholesale changes to its privacy settings.Despite these changes, the privacy issue has continued to dog Facebook.

DOG (verb) =  to  follow someone closely in a way that annoys them

e.g. Photographers dogged the princess all her adult life.

HOUSE(verb) = to give someone a place to live

e.g.  A large number of families are still waiting to be housed

HOUSE (verb) =  to be the place where something is kept, or where an activity is carried out

e.g.  The club is housed in a magnificent 16th-century building


PAMPER (verb)=  to look after someone very well, especially by making them feel very comfortable or by giving them nice things

e.g.  She had a whole evening in which to pamper herself

e.g. This cruise ship is famous for papering its passengers 

FOX (verb)= to make you confused and be impossible for you to understand or solve

e.g.  We were foxed by the problem

WOLF DOWN =  to eat something very quickly

e.g. The girls wolfed down the pizza in minutes


RABBIT ON = to talk about something for a long time so that people feel bored or annoyed

e.g. What are you rabbiting on about?




SNAKE = to move in or have a series of long curves

e.g. The path snakes through the bushes up the hill. 

Amazing Bird Fishes Like A Human

Never in my life have I imagined that a bird can think critically!!!! The smartest fisherman I have ever seen. Like one of the guys said in the comments :"This bird is smarter than me.I would just eat the bread and be hungry in 5 minutes". HA HA HA! Really cool clip!!!

I also recommend watching:

Brutus the fishing dog
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYSPQqUvNO0&feature=related

Dog Catches Huge Fish 

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yg5capd2fmQ&feature=related

The words of the day

TREACHEROUS = someone who is treacherous pretends that they support you but secretly tries to harm you, for example by helping an enemy

e.g. treacherous behaviour/thoughts

TREACHEROUS= very dangerous, especially because the dangers are not obvious

e.g. Is it wise to go out in this treacherous weather?

e.g. a treacherous road/path/journey

PERIL = DANGER

PERILOUS = DANGEROUS

 

The jokes of the day

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneris

I went into MacDonalds yesterday and said "I'd like some fries".
The girl at the counter said "Would you like some fries with that".
Jay Leno

The words of the day

RINSE = to wash something quickly, especially in flowing water, in order to remove soap or dirt

e.g. I’ll just rinse my hands.

e.g. Ella rinsed her hair thoroughly.

CALLOUS

A callous person does not feel any emotion when they see other people in trouble or in pain

a.

used about people’s behaviour

e.g. a callous disregard for human life and the environment

adv. callously

noun callousness

To make a better idea for what callousness means read this article at

file:

The quote of the day

Every man dies. Not every man really lives.
William Wallace (in the movie Braveheart)
 

The words of the day

SLUDGE = thick soft mud

a thick soft substance that remains when liquid has been removed from something in an industrial process 

SCOURGE = something that causes a lot of trouble or harm

e.g. the effort to keep the scourge of drugs off our streets

e.g. Hungary fights toxic sludge. Agigantic waste reservoir burst and a red scourge suddenly flooded a small city. Now the wave of toxic waste threatens to spead down the Danube.


CLUTTER =to put too many things in a place so that it looks untidy

His bedroom was cluttered with books and papers.

for more see 
http://news.yahoo.com/video/world-15749633/new-sighting-of-ufo-over-china-22306325;_ylt=AteBK4wzwOwuq47.OB8cq8Sz174F;_ylu=X3oDMTE3Y284ZGN2BHBvcwMxBHNlYwNtb3N0LXBvcHVsYXIEc2xrA25ld3NpZ2h0aW5nbw--#video=22319787

The jokes of the day

A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
B: Ok
A: A white horse fell in the mud.

A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so he kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"

The words of the day

take something in your stride

to not be upset or troubled by something

I told her what had happened and she took it all in her stride.

Japan issued a travel alert for Europe on Monday, joining the United States and Britain in warning of a possible terrorist attack by al-Qaida or other groups, but tourists appeared to be taking the mounting warnings in stride